How can no one see the pain in my eyes,
How do they see me and not realize,
I’m hurting and broken,
Bleeding and dying,
Spend my days mostly shaken and crying?
Oh I wish I could wither in silence.
And yet oh how I want to scream,
My lungs out until I leave.
Fuck my own head,
Can’t stand my own mind.
Wish I were dead,
Too gone to find.
Nobody hears me,
Just as always,
I’m here by myself.
All I can do is fucking drink,
So I can forget to fucking think,
So I can for once feel something,
Do the things that make me feel like nothing.
I’m so useless,
So fucking useless.
So I guess you can use me,
Can fucking abuse me.
I just want to drown this out,
The voice in my head never fades out,
Please fucking tell me what this is about.
I fall into the trap because I have nowhere else to go,
No respect for myself, no place to call home.
Vulnerable in the worst of ways,
Keep thinking I will find my way.
But how can I?
There’s nowhere to go.
Constantly remind myself, I’m on my own.
And it all goes back to the place I can’t stand,
Where I got to with my bare hands.
What did I do,
Nothing to lose,
Keep whispering until the truth,
Seeps out from my own store of youth.
Still nothing’s fine,
I’m not okay,
But how I hope I am someday.